Drowning

It’s this certain feeling,

I feel like keeling over

because although it is almost 

over, I feel as if I have just

begun.

It is the end of the beginning and

I am hardly winning

My friends are here too, 

but somehow they don’t think, or 

feel, the same way I do. 

I’m scared of what comes next,

after this text, I’m scared 

that everyone will be pissed, 

another crossed off the list,

one less person to miss,

to kiss up to, and honestly, 

I don’t know why I worked so 

hard to have a strong foundation

when it is clear I don’t live up to 

anyone’s

expectation. 

I just want to have fun, 

but because everyone is just 

apparently done, I can’t, 

and I understand your rant,

listening to you chant about

shielding me, 

But the only thing it’s 

doing is stopping me from being free.